Asexuality is a lack of sexual attraction. That’s it.
Okay so aces can’t have sex or anything to do with sex?
Nope, that’s not what I said.
Sexual behavior does not determine sexual orientation or lack thereof.
Asexuals can:
– Have a sex drive (libido)
– Masturbate
– Watch porn
– Have dirty minds
– Bake cookies
– Have sex
– Have children
– Get married
– Play sports
– Fall in love
…Or they can have zero interest in any of these things, and none of this has anything to do with their status of being asexual.
Wait, if they can have sex then how are they asexual?!
Asexuals can have sex for lots of reasons. Some want to be close to their partner, or want to have kids, some don’t know they are asexual and have sex just because they think that’s what everyone is supposed to do, some get pressured into sex, some have a libido and have sex purely as a way to get off, but still don’t feel any sexual attraction. Some never have sex, never masturbate, and never understand the point of it.
Every asexual experience is different. Aces can range from sex-repulsed, to completely indifferent, to very sex positive! What all aces have in common is that they don’t feel sexual attraction, or very rarely ever feel sexual attraction.
How do you know if you’ve felt sexual attraction or not?
For some, there is never any doubt they are asexual. For others, sexual attraction can get confused with platonic, aesthetic, romantic, or even sensual attraction. Ultimately, it comes down to the individual to decide whether the asexual label suits them or not.
(Note: Platonic attraction is basically wanting to be friends with someone, Aesthetic attraction is finding someone beautiful (not necessarily ‘standard’ beauty, whatever is beautiful to you), Romantic is wanting to date someone and that can mean different things to different people, Sensual is wanting to have non-sexual contact with someone like kissing, touching, cuddling, and Sexual attraction is wanting to have sexual contact with someone.)
I don’t understand any of this!
It is absolutely okay to not understand asexuality! Trust me, asexuals don’t understand non-aces either. Just remember that even if it’s hard for you to understand, that doesn’t mean it isn’t real! (I don’t understand calculus, but it’s still real!)
How can I be a good ally?
– Educate yourself, read more about it, ask an ace if it’s okay to ask them questions! Odds are, you probably already know a bunch of people who are asexual even if you think you don’t.
– If you have asexual friends, ask them what they are comfortable with in regards to even talking and joking about sex, and then do your best to respect that. Some have dirtier minds than anybody, some are indifferent either way, but others might not be comfortable around any kind of sex talk. Just ask!
– Don’t make acephobic comments. Stuff like, “but everybody wants sex, it’s just natural”, “are you even human?”, “have you seen a doctor/therapist?”, “you’ll change your mind when you meet the right person”, “you’re too young to know”, “you just want attention”, “you must think you’re better than everyone else”, “you can’t be asexual because (I think I know your life better than you)”, “you’re just a prude/frigid/naive”, “you’re never going to have a happy relationship”, “if you don’t have sex with your partner, you don’t really love them”, “how do you know if you’ve never tried it?”, “asexual? so you think you’re a plant/sponge?”, “asexuality isn’t real”, “acephobia isn’t real”… etc and so on, are dehumanizing and just plain ignorant, even if you think you mean well. If you wouldn’t want someone saying that to you, don’t say it to us!
– Don’t erase us. Don’t invalidate us. It’s that simple. Even if you can’t understand asexuality, it’s 100% okay to say, “I don’t understand your experience, but I still support you.”
We aren’t weird, we aren’t trying to be special. Asexuality has always existed, it isn’t new, but lately we’re finally able to say, “Hey, by the way, we exist” and have pride in ourselves. All you need to do is say, “Okay, cool.” Respect it, and carry on. That’s it.
The inevitable crack crossover: don’t wanna be your highland fling.
Because imagine DWBYG!Clarke aggressively hitting on Outlander!Lexa, hiking up that kilt, eager to get her hands on those pale Scottish thighs… Or Outlander!Lexa choking on one of her beloved bread rolls at dinner while DWBYG!Clarke leans over the table, purposefully making sure Lexa gets a good eyeful of her GEC. Or in this ‘verse maybe her cleavage is known as The Great Glen?
Chapters: 1/3 Fandom: The 100 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa, Clarke Griffin & Lexa Characters: Lexa (The 100), Commander Lexa – Character, Clarke Griffin, Titus (The 100), Nyko (The 100), Costia (The 100), Anya (The 100), Original Character, Aden (The 100), Nightbloods (The 100), Lexa’s Ducklings Additional Tags: Fix-It, Alternate Universe – Canon Divergence, Fuck Canon, fuck you jroth, Lexa Lives, Non-Graphic Violence, Blood and Injury, a lot of blood, Storytelling, because stories matter, Near Death Experiences, Gunshot Wounds, this is fairly explicit about the aftermath of a gsw, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Feels Summary:
Fix-it fic. Canon divergence from 307. Frankly – fuck canon and the two-headed horse it rode in on. This is therapy for me because one year later I’m still not over it. Lexa lives. Clarke and Lexa have a second chance.
I made myself cry in a coffee shop while writing this.
This is a really beautifully-written beginning – great insight into Lexa and that awful moment. Can’t wait to read more soon.
I always have a laugh seeing this – since it’s over ADC’s shoulder, there’s no actual snogging going on, but you can tell ET must have been having fun messing with her for the shot (watch her right hand and her feet under the blanket).
I can picture the director growing frustrated and deciding this was the best take they were going to get. 🙂
@femininenachos This is giving me heavy ‘Kassie Skai makes a post-apocalyptic themed porno where she gets sent to Earth to procreate and save the human race, but ends up falling in lust with a sexy female warrior named Lextra, thus fucking over the rest of mankind….whilst getting fucked herself’ feels
I would watch the hell out of ‘The Cumdred’
Why aren’t there loads of side-fics of Kassie Skai’s porny adventures?
They sound fabulous.
‘The Cumdred’ *snerk*
On the Ark, food and its discussion had to be strictly regimented. Meals might not have been ‘social’ occasions since food, in its scarcity, would be a reminder of ongoing and future lack. Videos or films or books discussing food or recipes would be all but forbidden since it might create desire that could not be fulfilled and add to further social discomfort.
Food was, simply, a source of energy and survival, nothing more.
On the ground, food is also a source of energy and survival, but, being more abundant and varied (and sometimes requiring great physical sacrifice to acquire), is also part of social customs, celebrations and even considered sources of pleasure, comfort and well-being.
We only saw glimpses of the Arkers appreciating things like meat – something that, first eaten (as we saw them in the first episodes), might have caused sickness amongst the delinquents, their bodies being unused to such strong proteins (and how did they know if the meat was cooked properly?).
In Polis, we should have had scenes of Clarke wandering the markets, trying different foods (perhaps not the bbq rat), learning, perhaps for the first time, what it is to associate food with pleasure, comfort and well-being. Perhaps there is one particular food she grows fond of and through food she learns more about the various clans and their customs.
Watching her integrate with the grounders and understand them through something so seemingly simple might have made her a true ambassador, especially if she were able to take such things back to her people and, through the common need for sustenance, helped them understand their neighbours a little better and learn to open their minds.
It’s a well-known fact: if you want to learn about the locals of a place you are visiting, eat where they eat. Through food, you can make friends and find common ground.
It should go without saying, we were robbed of a moments of dining in Polis tower, where we could have had scenes of Clarke sitting down with the other ambassadors, slowing learning about their lives, their interests, their goals – and what they love to eat. What are common dishes served? What does the Commander enjoy? Do the Nightbloods dine with them? Does the Commander enjoy sharing her favourites with Clarke?
Since ‘food’ is so new to Clarke, does she ask the cooks to show her how they make certain things? She might be curious enough to visit the kitchens and learn a little. Perhaps she tries to prepare something for the Commander and the council and it goes so wrong no one can eat the offering, but it opens a door that shows Clarke is willing to learn from them. Some of the ambassadors offer her guidance or give her recipes to try. At least one is paranoid she is trying to poison them and the Commander has to intervene. At last, she has a success and is offered some appreciation for her efforts.
When an embassy is finally completed for the Sky people, Clarke arranges a banquet with some old Earth recipes she has Raven obtain for her. Sky people and the other clans enjoy an evening with food that hasn’t been prepared in over a hundred years. It is such a success, members of the other clans want the recipes as well. The Sky people are inundated with advice for their crops and offers to share hunting grounds and where the best fishing is.
Through food: peace and community.
Aside from the food, Jasper introduces the clans to their music and, with Raven and Monty’s help, sets up the first radio station in over a century, broadcasting to Polis (and, in the future, other villages) via Arkadia. He finds his purpose at last.
[Though she initially finds it noisy and annoying, the Commander does find a few favourites. Jasper gossips to his fellow Arkers how the Commander is a ‘metal head’ – a moniker that, unbeknownst to them, has more than one meaning for her.]
Her look here seems to say:
‘Is there any particular reason I have to stick around with these numpties? No? Good. Maybe I’ll find myself a post-apocalyptic cyborg lesbian warrior who’ll take me back to her tower and we’ll make sweet love on her throne of antlers and rule the remnants of humanity with truth, fairness and a whole lot of gay.’
The Doctor Is Out 