“One late afternoon when the sun was spreading honey-gold over the autumn trees, Ash lay on the riverbank beneath an old oak whose limbs grew nearly down to the ground to form a splendid, secret room. She had been reading an old fairy tale that afternoon, and when she finished the story, she looked up through the leaves across the river and saw a woman there. She was kneeling on the edge of the opposite bank with a dripping hand raised halfway to her mouth, and she was dressed in hunting gear. The woman drank from the water in her hand and then flicked the rest away, the droplets scattering like crystals in the slanting light, and when she looked up she saw Ash staring at her.”
so a tourist in Italy is fulfilling her lifelong dream of seeing the birth of venus, her fave painting, in person. and while she’s there a Hot Girl strikes up a conversation with her and she loves art and is charming and they talk until the museum closes. they exchange numbers. the next day the birth of Venus painting is stolen, nobody knows who stole it. so anyways, the two girls continue dating and are happy and shit? and on their one year anniversary her girlfriend reveals that she’s an international art thief and she stole the birth of venus after meeting her. tourist girl flips and wants it returned she doesn’t want to just. hoard the art so nobody can see it. so then art thief has to do a reverse heist where she sneaks the painting back into the museum without getting caught
Bear in mind that the Birth of Venus is like 15 feet tall and 30 feet wide…
why would you have to do a reverse heist instead of like thouroughly cleaning it of fingerprints, DNA and other trace evidence and then just quietly dropping it off round the back underneath a tarp and a note attached
because she’s gay and loves drama don’t ever question me again
Something like this happens in Ali Smith’s novel, Like.
It takes place at a gallery in Cambridge – a Scottish girl, wanting to impress the posh English girl she is in love with, steals a painting and puts it in her rooms at university.
It doesn’t go the way she planned (and, yes, she has to return it).
Hiccups and delays aside, here it is. Xena is equipped as an early hoplite; (my headcanon is that, owing to her immense, perhaps semi-divine strength, the bronze is between 4 and 8mm thick- too much for any muscle powered weapon to handle from any angle) packing an early Doru, a Boeotian shield, and a Makhaira sword. Gabrielle’s Amazonian outfit is a composite of Scythian grave finds; she wields a composite bow and Akinakes sword, wears an elaborate phrygian cap, and the trousers and moccasins of a culture seriously weird to Greeks. Other avenues are still waiting to be explored! Don’t forget to reblog, and tell me what you think. I’m absolutely willing to defend my questionable use of snarling Gorgoneiona. Fight me.
i love this illustration… and not just because in my (now scrapped) xena reboot, gabrielle was a scythian!
The Doctor Is Out 