Tag: asexuality

When you’re autistic and asexual and sex grosses you out so much everytime someone mentions it you wanna cry and scream it’s awful and you wish people just stop talking about it but you also feel guilty because of all this sex positivity talks and uh

child-of-the-sky-people:

undiagnosedautismfeels:

You don’t ever need to feel guilty for this. There is nothing wrong with you and how you feel.

-mod har

hey anon, I feel the same. My mom gets mad at me when I tell her it grosses me out and she just says I’ll “grow out of it” but like, idk man. Also all my friends at school like to talk about it and I’m just over here like “ew stop pls.”

Everything you’re feeling on this is totally valid – I’m sorry your mum doesn’t understand (I hope there’s a ‘yet’).   I went for many years thinking something was very wrong with me (lots of useless therapy as well), trying to cope with how sexualised our world is.  Let no one force you, let no one tell you how you ‘should’ or ‘must’ be.  Anyone who does, remind them this is YOUR life and no one defines it but you.  

What is a homoromantic asexual to you? You refer to yourself as lesbian sometimes and sometimes just queer. What do you prefer?

Here is AVEN’s definition.

When I first came out, or, at least began to realise I was not in any way straight, my inclination was that I preferred women, therefore I must be lesbian.  I’m comfortable with this and do use it from time to time as most people have never heard the term ‘homoromantic asexual.’  

I identify as queer because I’ve always found the word to be a bit rebellious and taking back as many pejoratives in our culture is something important to me.  

In my early 30s, after a series of unsuccessful relationships, I realised I’d been ‘borrowing’ sexual desire from my partners without ever experiencing this attraction myself.  I felt an emotional and intellectual pull towards women, but sexual interest was not part of it.  

While organisations like AVEN try to battle stigma for those of us outside the usual spectrum, it still exists.  Because of this stigma and the lack of representation, the vast majority of potential partners for someone like me is limited to pretty much zero.  

And if you were wondering, being asexual in any definition does not mean you wish to be without a partner.