Something I’ve noticed is that when we criticize Mon, someone always jumps into the notes to defend him. And the way they defend him is always the same – “well, he’s new to this planet, he doesn’t know how things are here!” / “he’s still learning, give him a chance” / “Well, but Kara likes him that’s all that matters” / “He lost his whole planet he’s probably traumatized” / “When he choked Kara and threw her through a window, he was scared and confused because he’d just woke up” / etc.
But here’s the thing: he is not any of those things. People are defending him as if he is a real person. He is not.
When we criticize Mon, we are not criticizing him as a person, because he isn’t one. He is a fictional character. We are criticizing the way he is being written. We are not angry at Mon the person because he does not exist.
We are angry because on a television show about a female hero, one marketed toward young girls, we just got an episode where two men fought over which one of them Kara belonged to, completely disregarding Kara’s agency and (lack of) consent.
We are criticizing the writing because we have yet to see a single reason why Kara likes him, or why he is somehow worthy of her, because his attraction to her, and him feeling bad because he thinks she doesn’t like him is not, by any measure, a reason why she should return that affection. As written, her interest in him is completely inexplicable, other than the fact that the actor playing this character is conventionally attractive. That’s not me saying “Mon is a terrible person and Kara doesn’t even like him”, because again, he’s not real. That’s me saying “The writing this season is terrible.”
We are critical of his character because, as we learned last season, they can easily write a character being confused on Earth, and not understanding how things work without writing the character as an admitted misogynist.
We are critical because if they wanted to show a character being scared and confused, there are dozens of ways to do that without him violently assaulting his future love interest, but they chose to write it this way.
We are criticizing the writing because if they wanted to show a relationship between two characters from different worlds, they could have done that with James and Kara, because James is from Earth and Kara is from Krypton. But they chose to suddenly and abruptly break up a relationship that they spent an entire season establishing and still haven’t adequately explained why in the story, and put Kara in a romantic relationship with Mon instead.
Mon isn’t real. He is a fictional character. We aren’t angry at him, because he doesn’t exist. We’re angry at the systemic culture of misogyny and racism, where the writers and producers and network executives think breaking up an interrracial couple after a season-long slow-burn before they even have a date so they can bring in a white guy; where the writers may have intended to write a brash hero, but think that means he should belittle and humiliate his love interest, our title character; where nobody seemed to have stopped to think “perhaps we should not have our future male romantic lead violently assault our female lead in a manner extremely reminiscent of domestic violence in a show aimed at young girls?”; where nobody seems to have stopped to think, period.
Look. I get that people who ship it think Mon is handsome, and that you think he just needs to be given a chance and he’ll change for Kara because he loves her so much. But he’s not real. He’s not capable of that, because he doesn’t exist. You can’t remove him from the context of the world we live in, because fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and a show for young girls about a female hero normalizing that this is what romantic relationships should be like is incredibly irresponsible, and just plain bad writing.
There are hundreds of different ways they could have written this character. They chose to write him as a misogynist. They chose to take the romantic lead role away from the black man playing a beloved character, and give it to the new white boy instead. They chose to show our new romantic lead being physically violent to our female lead on more than one occasion – and specifically showed her being physically vulnerable to his strength (the scene where he chokes Kara and throws her through a window? Watch it again. He chokes her with one hand, picks her up by the throat and throws her with one hand – as Kara struggles and uses both hands to try to free herself and can’t, watch Kara on the ground as he kicks her in the stomach, sending her body sliding clear across the room). They chose to show him treat Kara as a prize to be won. They chose to write it in such a way that it, at best, is something very close to emotional abuse. They chose to show him disrespecting Kara. And they chose to have Kara be interested in him. They chose to sideline Supergirl in her own show (the only plot Kara has this season is supporting Mon).
They did not have to write him this way. But they did, and it’s reprehensible and irresponsible.
So, no. I don’t hate Mon. He doesn’t exist. What I do hate is every single one of the decisions made by the writers, producers and network executives that led to them thinking this was how to write a romantic relationship. It isn’t.
How many young girls will aspire to this kind of relationship because of this show? How many will be treated cruelly and think it’s just the way things work in relationships because of the message the writers are teaching them? Shows have shoved this nonsense down people’s throats for decades. It’s not revolutionary, it’s not cute, it’s not “banter” as the EP calls it, it’s damaging. They could literally be harming young woman with this story line. Whoever is responsible for turning a show about empowering women into a show about treating them poorly needs to be fired.
As they like to say in comics, with great power comes great responsibility. The Supergirl writers need to start taking some for their actions.
It is not only young girls who will be affected by this irresponsible portrayal, those who will be impacted the most are actually young guys watching this show, as I am sure there are plenty who still do, despite the perceived negative connotations a of a female superhero show.
What the majority of the US based online fandom does not seem to be fully aware of, is the fact that this show is being broadcasted in other areas of the world, alongside the other superhero shows from the same network. It is reaching a wide spectrum of viewers, from different cultures and backgrounds. If anyone is still under the illusion that media, precisely superhero themed media content, is not influential and essential in shaping one’s perception and outlook on life, especially among teen and younger viewers, then well, I feel sorry for them.
Nowhere this influence is more crucial than in patriarchal and conservative societies. Turning on the tv and seeing a genuine female superhero, the main star of a show, a lone girl on the show’s poster, that is not something trivial, common or inconsequential. This is a show that is shaping the imagination of young girls and boys from my region, who are not being brought up in the same environment and culture as US viewers,
who have not grown up with superhero comics,
who lack real life role models, and who, despite an easier access to the internet with its infinite content, are still enamored with comic book heroes, who still turn up in huge numbers to watch DC and Marvel movies anytime they get released.
I am worried about these viewers more than any others. These mostly young guys will tune in to watch the latest episode on a cable network that broadcasts to millions of subscribers in more than a dozen countries, think HBO but bigger. These young guys and girls will continue to be subjected to this toxic semblance of a romance, all the while the message that their mind is processing is that the patriarchal practices that they are witnessing first hand in their societies, the objectification of women, the misogyny, the verbal and physical abuse, the remaining horrible traits that this male character is exhibiting, all these features are being normalized, justified and ignored in the narrative, all in favor of the MALE love interest, at the expense of the FEMALE superhero.
So no matter where the writing ends up taking Kara and Mon-El’s relationship, the damage that has been inflicted on the show’s image, its message, its core values, in the aim of imposing this relationship, through heavily marketing it as a counterpart to the other main couple of the show, that damage is permanent and irrevocable. Its negative ramifications cannot be swept away with a convenient “cautionary tale” twist. Kara’s character was literally obliterated in order to accommodate for the insertion of a “white male savior”, the Danvers Sisters dynamic, the literal heart and soul of the show, has been dismantled to further facilitate this insertion. These atrocities and all the other messed up storylines, plot holes, bad characterizations and missing development are supposed to be resolved how exactly? During a few minutes of exposition between fight scenes?
No, the big twist escape route will not do, the writing has become irresponsible, inexcusable and downright unethical. If even just ONE impressionable viewer stops watching, misses out on this supposed twist and comes away from the show with a distorted view of “romantic” love, with a mental image of a “weak” female superhero reduced to being the typical damsel in distress, or with a reinforced sense of male entitlement, that’s all it takes to negate any moralistic lesson or absolution that the writers might intend to flesh out for either Kara or Mon-El. Cosmetic fixes in the narrative won’t achieve any remedial effects and frankly, seeing their track record, the current writers are highly unqualified for the task and have run out of adequate screen time to salvage the show before this season ends.
This is the kind of discussion that is so inspiring because it shows the audience is active. The audience can and will participate in the critical commentaries on these programmes and will make noise and bring attention to the failings of an entire industry.
We saw it last year when the Clexa fandom rose up to challenge the industry, how that spread through other fandoms to demand better and here it is, now, with Supergirl.
Keep these discussions going, make the industry pay attention to you. Make them notice and care and change – or find their work, their money, their effort, for naught.
The worst kind of appropriation of Audre Lorde is taking place these days by folks who use her quotes (out of context) to serve their own anti-intersectional projects. As self-care has become a trending topic in social-justice circles, different venues have taken up Lorde’s famous saying on self-care without critically reflecting on how Lorde’s need for self-care stemmed from living and surviving under racist heteropatriarchy.
When you have only a small handful of archetypal, iconic
woman superheroes and action heroes living inside of you, standing out among a
multitude of iconic men who continue to pop up as unchecked and
indistinguishable as dandelions, you cherish every one in a way that would be
hard to explain to someone who simply did not need to see symbolic, non-gender
conforming women to represent the possibilities for new ways of being a woman
in this world.
I am glad I have the dynamic between Alex and Maggie to
remind me to honor my emotions, talk stuff out, and just cry. Cause I am having a profound moment of grief
over Supergirl. I am tempted to tell myself that I did this
to myself and that I should not have taken television trash seriously. And also want to tell myself, it’s a weird
phase, it’s misdirection, what’s happening right now will end soon. But this stuff is important.
Even if I push this aside, I know that it’s incredibly important.
When Supergirl first cropped up, I nearly
cried, simply because Supergirl’s clothing was something that women could
actually wear as a recognizable costume comfortably in cool weather and without
being hyper-sexualized. Then I got to watch Kara struggle to take up space in the
world and not feel responsible for everybody’s feelings, overcome fears that
she would hurt herself and other people if she exerted her strength, struggle
to reconcile disparate identities, and watch herself being used as an icon with
a definition beyond her own will. And I
felt like this show was actually written for women every bit as much as
men. When I saw how a bond between two
sisters formed the arch and defined the narrative arc of the entire first
season, I recognized that choice alone as enough to make this show ten times
more feminist than almost anything on television.
The word I would use to describe the representation of
Kara’s sexuality in season one would be anxious. The show seemed anxious to ensure that she
had a sexuality and would not read as immature or closeted. They also seemed anxious to let that interest
turn into even implied sex. I hoped that
in season two the show would change. I
hoped that the creative team would create a context where they would feel
comfortable allowing Kara’s sexuality to emerge fully and in fulfilling
ways.
They did find the context that made them feel comfortable.
e. I never imagined they would craft
such a stylized archetype of recognizable and self-conscious postmodern, white,
straight masculinity to line up with Kara as her romantic and sexual
compliment. Kara’s sexuality in season
two feels like a relief from the tension and anxiety of season one and now
feels like a grinning, uneasy, indirect, continuous apology for the show’s
feminism including the show’s current, beautiful wlw storyline.
Now viewers have become divided between those focused on their
feelings about the threat Kara clearly represents to the personification of a
seemingly fragile, socially unstable, and emotionally underdeveloped man and those
having feelings about the unacknowledged threat that a self-absorbed sexist man
who seems like an anachronism in the world of this show poses to Kara. Kara’s increasing self-definition and
self-ownership no longer serve as a foundation for the show. And while the crucial importance of the bond between
the Danvers sisters still resonates in the show’s conflicts, it no longer forms
the heart of the show.
This may be temporary. This may be what Supergirl is now. That will
be a real loss.
I’ve been seeing headass headlines this for the past few days, and I simply ignored it bc the media does shit like this for money and clickbait. But I realized this is more than the media tryna get their coins, this is a blatant attack on black women and other woc. So @ white women? I think it’s time we have a little chat.
1. Beyonce has gone through a miscarriage, and thousands of other women have been through it as well. It is a terrible experience that no one deserves to go through. But Beyonce is a FAMOUS PERSON, and she has one of the largest fanbases in the world. So when she delivers news such as being pregnant with TWINS, of course the beyhive is gonna to go above and beyond when it comes to the reaction. Ya’ll dragged her through the mud w/ her first pregnancy trying to say it was faked. Now that she’s pregnant for a second time, she’s doing all these photo shoots to further prove the accuracy of it. And now ya’ll are criticizing her for it????? Tryna cover your asses for how you treated her 5 years ago??????? Get the fuck over it, because ya’ll didn’t say shit when these women did THIS w/ their pregnancy announcements:
2. Serena Williams has been demonized and ridiculed for her body type since FOREVER. People say that her body is “too masculine” and how she’s “built like a man”. It’s fucking gross because Serena is one of the most hard working athletes in the WORLD, and her body type shouldn’t be affiliated with the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into her career. White women, you can’t say that you’re an advocate for equality when you criticize a black woman’s photo shoot, deeming it “soft porn”, and yet you praise THESE photoshoots:
When a white woman, or hell even a non-black woman does shit like this, ya’ll are so quick to write article about how “empowering” they’re being. But when a black woman does it ya’ll all of the sudden wanna further sexualize and make it about “soft porn”??? Get over yourselves and let a black women love herself after receiving massive amounts of slander for her body type.
3. The role in Ghost in the Shell is definitely about race. If her character’s mom is Asian, then why tf couldn’t they just get an Asian person to play the character in the damn first place????
She should’ve just said “a woc deserves the role more than me, but unfortunately I can’t control who they cast” and then moved on. But nope, she had to make it about herself and disregard the fact woc are hardly ever represented in movies, especially Asian women.
4. You can’t criticize a movie you don’t even relate to on a cultural level. Moonlight takes the components of black struggles, black culture, black life, and puts it into a true cinematic experience. You don’t have to like the movie, but the movie itself is more about whether you “like it” or not. It’s whether you relate to it, whether you feel with it, and whether your experiences correlate with the character’s experiences. A “better plot” wouldn’t do shit Becky, you either get it or not. Not to mention Camilla Long was kissing La La Land’s ass:
So the point of this post isn’t to slander all white women and shame them. The point of this post to to show how frustrated black women are with white feminism. White women can be just as racist as white men, and they sure as hell benefit off that privilege. This is why a lot of black women these days kinda go side eyed when a white women says she’s a feminist. Are you a feminist for all women? Or are you a feminist for WHITE women. Please don’t call yourself a “advocate” for women if you’re gonna spend all this time bashing black women and other woc. Just say you hate black women and go.
FUCK WHITE FEMINISM 2KFOREVER
The double standard is infuriating! Please do better WW. I mean please…🙄
Our feminism doesn’t count for fuck if it doesn’t include black women, women of colour, queer, trans women of all stripes – everyone.
White feminism only upholds white supremacy if it excludes all the above.
protect young [sapphic] cis girls from being taught radfem ideologies
teach them to be loving and accepting of ALL girls, not just cis girls
raise the next generation to try and stomp out any transmisogyny/transphobia before it gets ingrained into them
rb this its pissing off radfems
I wonder about men, and their lives away from women, and their societies that we are not allowed in;
do you text each other “are you home safe” at the end of the night? do you only go out in pairs, arms linked, a promise to make sure that you are both safe. do you have to drink before each party because every offered cup is a looming threat. do you escape to bathrooms to whisper sharp warnings about a girl’s previous relations.
when the morning comes do you talk about what he did with a hurried, excited voice; mock-appalled at his scandalous behavior. do you ask him about it, do you sit for hours picking apart her text messages and what she meant when she didn’t call until long after ten.
when you go into your man-caves, man-room, man-hole; do you talk about women carefully, respectfully, with constant forgiveness – do you let your friends say things you pretend you don’t agree with? when we aren’t around, do you defend us? do you let him call names from his window, do you slide his eyes off his mistress, do you chuckle and sip beers and try not to think you’re one of them?
what do you do in the quiet moments where women are screaming? do you turn your head from the bad things? do you forward the video on krav maga to your sister, do you stand between strangers? when she says her boyfriend – your friend – is an abuser, do you believe her, or him? do you look at the bruises and say she must have done something wrong to get this from him? when you know in your heart of hearts he is not good to women, do you do something?
when you walk home do you keep keys in your fist. do you dress specifically in the hopes you won’t get attacked if it’s too close of a fit. do you avoid enclosed spaces, do you constantly scan for threats. do you flick the news off, knowing they won’t be talking about whether or not your body is punishable under the law. do you worry about the one in four of your sisters who will be raped, or is it a small fact, a kidney stone only, annoying but survivable. do you say rape culture isn’t a thing, laughing; do you make sure your daughters don’t go outside in flattering dresses for the same reasons you refused to admit exist. do you promise you’re a feminist, stop there, not worry about the intersectionalist portion of it. do you need to worry about it? are you doing good enough just identifying by it?
and men, what happens to your heart when you cannot hug another. what happens when you want to love but your father’s voice is in your head like a wall of thunder. what happens when your passions are in things traditionally feminine. who tells you it’s okay and that you’re still a man. do you push down the tears because it’s easier or because it’s harder? when she cries, do you feel jealous of her?
men, in the lives so public; always flashing in tv, bulky, lean. men with their opinions and their secrets. but what is it, to be free like that, to be unworried, to never watch a tongue when it starts walking. are you happy? do you fear marrying someone who will emotionally detach three years in, who will spend her life hidden from you, drinking. do you fear lonely nights where all she wants is a hushed thing and then to bed, before you are crying. do you fear travelling alone, do you fear a room full of women? do you fear anything?
what is it like in there? What are men when no one is looking?
-male nerds seem agree that being nerds makes them less attractive to normal women
-so why would normal women pretend to be nerds to be more attractive to men who are already less attractive than normal men
-things like tv shows and books and videogames are designed to be fun and accessible to a fairly wide range of potential consumers. they are products being sold for money, not some kind of exclusive sadkid narnia club you only get into by being pure of heart and testicle
-hey you know what’s not fun? exclusionary sexual harassment
-why would normal women enter into hostile spaces just to look attractive to the hostile men making those spaces so fucking toxic for women, when being attractive to those men is only going to invite vicious, resentful sexual harassment? we all fucking know this. all geeky women know this. the only geeky women who don’t know this are young teens, and they get fucking taught.
-you know that ‘boo hoo highschool was traumatic people were mean to me just because of who i was and what i liked’ gauntlet that male nerds think entitles them to be shitheads forever? female geeks never get to exit that gauntlet, thanks to male geeks. it goes on, and on, and on for us. and yet: we’re still fucking here.
-hey, you know what? there are women who only exist to artificially pander to male nerd’s baser instincts. they’re fictional. they’re the characters in the shows and games and comics that male nerds go goddamn ham over. they’re the fictional female fuckdolls men keep fucking pumping out by the truckload, for each other.
-so anyway, if a woman says she’s a geek, she’s a geek. if she’s hot and posts a picture of her sticking a goddamn game controller up her personal business and says ‘i’m a geek!’ she’s a geek. if you don’t like her, she’s still a geek, and also, you can go fuck yourself.
STANDING MOTHERFUCKING OVATION
also exclusive sadkid narnia club you only get into by being pure of heart and testicle
My friends seem to love this tiny lecture of mine, so here you go! I love stories about women superheroes. The gender politics tend to break down when it comes to the direct, sexual politics. You almost always get the same 6 tropes.
First, the situation: Writers feel that the lady lead must show an interest in sex and in men. Otherwise, the lady lead will be pathologized by the audience. They will be seen as immature, emotionally void, or as closeted lesbians. Can’t have any of that. So, lady lead must show interest in men quickly and convincingly. But what happens then?
The Doctor Is Out 
