for your consideration

For the upcoming ‘American Solar Eclipse’ – an alien invasion/catastrophe AU:

– All the Americans and tourists who bought protective goggles have been tricked and are blinded during the eclipse

– In the resulting chaos, an alien invasion begins

– Our surviving protagonists (who didn’t go blind) include

• The Mum – she’s exhausted and depressed, but she’ll get shit done.
• The Old Man – he once fought aliens, back in 1947, so he Knows Stuff.
• The Son – about 15, thinks he’s tough, has no brains whatsoever.
• The Daughter* – about 20, genius, comes up with brilliant plans – but no one pays attention to her or takes her seriously.  
• The Dad – left The Mum for a much younger woman ages ago, is now Regretful and Wants to Help.  Blind as a bat.  
• The Step-Mum* – about 25, stoned most of her life, and as she comes off her near-permanent high, realises she fancies The Daughter, but thinks she blew it by marrying her dad.  Spoiler: she’s actually likeable but really needs some lessons in How To Be An Adult.

*Guess who plays The Daughter and The Step-Mum?  Hint: it’s totally not these two. Nope. 

For reasons known only to the plot, there is a llama named Fred who follows them around, being quietly heroic.  

As they struggle through the post-eclipse wasteland, facing an evil but inept military, soulless insurance salesmen and a cameo by the Really Sorry Dude who betrayed the human race in the first place, the aliens retrieve what they came for:

That’s right.  

BUBBLEWRAP.