for your consideration

For the upcoming ‘American Solar Eclipse’ – an alien invasion/catastrophe AU:

– All the Americans and tourists who bought protective goggles have been tricked and are blinded during the eclipse

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– In the resulting chaos, an alien invasion begins

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– Our surviving protagonists (who didn’t go blind) include

  • The Mum – she’s exhausted and depressed, but she’ll get shit done.
  • The Old Man – he once fought aliens, back in 1947, so he Knows Stuff.
  • The Son – about 15, thinks he’s tough, has no brains whatsoever.
  • The Daughter* – about 20, genius, comes up with brilliant plans – but no one pays attention to her or takes her seriously.  
  • The Dad – left The Mum for a much younger woman ages ago, is now Regretful and Wants to Help.  Blind as a bat.  
  • The Step-Mum* – about 25, stoned most of her life, and as she comes off her near-permanent high, realises she fancies The Daughter, but thinks she blew it by marrying her dad.  Spoiler: she’s actually likeable but really needs some lessons in How To Be An Adult.

*Guess who plays The Daughter and The Step-Mum?  Hint: it’s totally not these two. Nope. 

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For reasons known only to the plot, there is a llama named Fred who follows them around, being quietly heroic.  

As they struggle through the post-eclipse wasteland, facing an evil but inept military, soulless insurance salesmen and a cameo by the Really Sorry Dude who betrayed the human race in the first place, the aliens retrieve what they came for:

That’s right.  

BUBBLEWRAP.

no NOT carmilla. there is NO way to do it now its too dated.

Well, yes, it can be done, but I would hope they would subvert the trope it is practically the mother of – the predatory lesbian – in favour of something better. This would mean changing a few things, of course:

– Make it a full-on love story.  Don’t stint.  No predatory overtones (might be difficult if there’s a significant age difference in the leads).

– Make Carmilla’s vampirism nothing more than a rumour the men in the household use to control Lara.  Make clear the real enemy (of the day and age) is patriarchy.

– Give them a happy ending.

– For a twist in the twist, reveal Carmilla is a vampire, Lara knows, and they’ve both been playing the men all along.  

Now that I’ve written it, it’s sure not to be a thing.  

fuckyeahwomenfilmdirectors:

Jessica Raine, Tobias Menzies board UK gothic drama ‘Carmilla’

Jessica Raine and Tobias Menzies have boarded UK gothic drama Carmilla.

They join rising UK talent Hannah Rae and young German actress Devrim Lingnau in the cast alongside illusionist Scott Silven.

Inspired by Sheridan Le Fanu’s 1872 novel of the same name, which is considered to be one of the earliest works of vampire fiction, Carmilla is a dark coming-of-age love story set in the 1780s.

Raine plays Miss Fontaine, governess to 15-year-old Lara who lives in total isolation in her family home. Struggling to find an outlet for her burgeoning sexuality, Lara is enchanted by the mysterious Carmilla and the pair strike up a passionate relationship. However, with rumours and superstition rife and with the exhortation of the family doctor, Carmilla’s presence in their home begins to strike fear into those around her.

The project is the debut feature of writer-director Emily Harris, who previously collaborated with Ate De Jong on Love Is Thicker Than Water in 2016.

Hopefully, they won’t resort to the tired ‘predatory lesbian who receives her just reward’ in the end.  

Weasal lets you sleep with priest!lexa only once a month.

gramjams:

Priest!Lexa lives in our bedroom and currently resides on a chair that faces our bed. Weasal hasn’t set any ground rules about me sleeping with her, as we feel it’s more a mutual decision between the 3 of us. We’ll all sleep together when Priest!Lexa decides to bless us with her presence (I may have slept with Lexa when Weasal was out, but that’s just between us, OK anon?)