Raven Reyes is a nympho with a sex toy chest so extensive her girlfriend Octavia has named it ‘Silicon Valley’. Raven finally finds the toy she’s spent years searching for, the much coveted dildo named Woody. But little does Reyes know that the rightful owner of Woody is sexy Space Cummander, Fuzz Rightqueer, and she’ll do anything to get it back.…..ANYTHING
@femininenachos it’s been a while, but Kassie’s back with a bang (or multiple)
A-mazing.
If ET knew she was the star of so many faux porn films…I like to think she’d love it.
These just keep getting better. 😉
PS: Did Kassie ever do a Doctor Who-themed porno? Doctor Screw? Raven as the sexually inexperienced alien ‘The Doctor,’ with Kassie as her seductive companion, traveling through time and space – The Doctor scandalised by Kassie seducing various historic figures (before succumbing herself).
Lexa is so calculated, she never does anything for no reason. She’s seen first hand how weak Clarke is for sweaty Heda (aren’t we all?!) It first happened in 2×10 when she saved Clarke from Quint and noticed how dilated Clarke’s pupils had become when she clocked the light sheen on Lexa’s face. And you just know that when Lexa sweats she smells like pure musky sex (she’s also noticed Clarke leaning in to take a subtle sniff when she’s wearing the coat.) So of course she starts wearing it ALL the time to drive Clarke crazy.
There’s absolutely no reason for her to be sparring with the Nightbloods in that coat, but she knows Clarke has requested to see her afterwards and wants to get a good sweat on. Lexa’s sex musk and coat combo are part of the reason that Clarke can’t go through with killing her in 3×03.
Let’s also think about how Lexa likes to turn up at Clarke’s bedroom door wearing that coat and nothing else……
Someone needs to write a fic about Lexa arriving at Clarke’s boudoir in the Polis tower. All fur coat and nae knickers.
@femininenachos fur coat and nae knickers is what Clarksy calls Lexa in The Hunnerverse, when Lexa buys a faux fur coat to survive the Weegie winter!
just sayin…
That poor woman.
Lexa’s hasn’t got a shred of dignity left.
We’ll be back here, twenty years from now, and there she’ll be: middle-aged, naked, vapin’. All rusty nails and a tragic emo combover. Murphy does a candle drop off drive by every other Tuesday. She hustles matches from kids on their way to school.
Clarksy will be in Paris with two kids no one knows the father of, vegan, living with the evil twin, whom she left her for in ‘22. She dresses in Dior even to the market. She secretly tags Weegie!Lexa’s face all over
Faubourg Saint-Germain.
They reunite a year later when Lexa finally goes cold turkey with the candles and shows up to a Stella McCartney Retrospective in her old school togs (cleanest thing she could find) and the faux fur, and the kids nearly beat the shit out of her for ‘breaking mum’s thimble collection’ and she realises they weren’t talking about her, and when they meet in the ladies it’s like the years never were and they’re arrested for lewd conduct and they finally settle down in Switzerland and raise Alsatians.
Although their relationship has had it’s sketchy moments, Clarke can’t picture having anyone else in her life now. Lexa always goes to great lengths to illustrate her love for Clarke.
but how the fuck everybody seems to know about clarke and lexa now? grounder gossip magazine? did they changed their status on fb?
Possible explanations
– Lexa’s guards have been shipping clexa since day one and are the worst gossips
– Titus got mopey drunk about it in the polis pub one time and told everyone that Lexa didnt like him anymore because Clarke came along. Grounders told Lincoln who told Octavia who told Raven who told everyone she met for two weeks straight
– Octavia took one look at Clarke after the kiss in s2 and told all her grounder friends who then have been taking bets on it ever since Clarke showed up in polis
– Roan of Azgheda writes fanfiction and distributes it
– wait a second i just remembered octavia was there on that fatefull day and was supposed to meet up with Clarke after the clexasexa. My guess is Clarke and Lexa are nowhere near as quiet as they think they were and Octavia went on a rant
After an early morning discussion with @femininenachos about how Clarke has more chemistry with a drawing than she ever will with Bawbag Blake….I present Clawing (portmanteau courtesy of Nachos)
The latest The Hunner podcast is now LIVE! And as an extra special tribute to the memory of Lexa kom Trikru, Heda of our hearts and Commander of Clarke’s Good Earth Cleavage, it’s only a fucking double episode!
So join us for Epsiode 2: Bigger Boozier Boobier, where we discuss the Lexa Effect, perform more dubious reader-outering of DWBYG, and answer questions submitted by the NachoKru. Unfortunately, there wasn’t time to do the Slag ‘n’ Drag of The Loo but we hope to pick it up again when/if we record another episode (and, lesbihonest, The NoFundred has been boring AF so far this season). However, we think you’ll forgive us that omission, because hold onto your knickers for…
The Hunner Special: In Conversation with KL Morgan. Yes, it’s The Fluff Queen Winning herself! Listen to us trying to contain our fangirling as we chat with @entirelytookeen about her writing process, her fandom history (no judgement…), her thoughts on the Lexa Effect, and bask in her insightful commentary on everything from KPop to The 1OO writers’ spectacular bungling of their own show. If you’re a fan of KL—and you should be—you do not want to miss this!
A wee disclaimer: This was originally going to be a single episode but we decided to split it in two because we had so much material. Honestly, this could easily have been 3+ hours long…
IT’S HEEEEEEEERE!
Hope you all enjoy this double-Heda. It’s a bit of a labour of love for us and we are so pleased to bring you another crack-fuelled bonanza episode along with the dulcet yet excitable tones of the most majestic @entirelytookeen.
Turn those tears of sorrow into tears of pure joy, and get ready to say, “What the fuck?”.
So hold onto your braids and rev your smut engines NachoKru….you’re in for a completely ridiculous ride.
so that happened 😀
I just wanted to add I AM SORRY I’M SO LOUD I’m going to mess with Skype’s external mike levels but let’s not kid ourselves, I really am just that loud
and in my defense I was so very very very excited to meet Wegramchos, can you blame me
Just got round to listening to both your new podcast episodes and what a treat they were. KL Morgan, after recently binge reading your fic ‘my destruction within your mouth’ (because it’s hard not to get hooked) it was so interesting to listen to the methods you use in creating your stories and the insight into your history within the fandom and fanfiction itself.
WeGramChos, I’m right there with you on the heartbreak of Lexa’s death. So much potential was wasted with her character so the only way we can experience that now is within the fandom and the fanfiction people create. You guys are my favourite part of this fandom so thank you for sharing all your cracky ideas, the podcasts and involving the rest of us ClexaTrash Kom NachoKru. 🙂
They’re a Good, as the kids say.
We’ve now surpassed 1000(!) downloads of The Hunner Podcast… I’m stunned, quite frankly. Massive thanks to everyone who has listened so far, sent messages of support, and reblogged it to spread the word. ❤
Over 1000 downloads across 50 countries! WTF. I have no idea how half of you are even understanding anything we are saying, but you have our unending thanks for at least trying to decipher our accents and our nuttiness. Thanks so much for all the support NachoKru. You are all amazing and it’s been a blast to create this content for you.
HOL(E)Y FUCK SOCKETS!!! That’s a lot of people listening to us three giant nerds prattle on about Clexa. Thanks for all the support you guys, it honestly means a lot. We love getting your comments and feedback. Please don’t be afraid to give us constructive criticism as well, it’ll only strive to make any future episodes better.
And if anyone is suffering from post Clexacon blues, then this might be just the thing you need.
So with the influx of new followers since the latest chapter of DWBYG dropped (hello!), I thought it would be a good time to let y’all know, if you weren’t already aware, that myself, @gramjams and @weasal do a Clexa-themed podcast called The Hunner. It contains a lot of banter, “dramatic” readings of DWBYG in the style of ‘My Dad Wrote a Porno’, and general cracky nonsense spawned from our blogs.
The perfect way to combat a nasty case of TOAW. This is the aural equivalent of being doused in ice cold water!
Part III is a fabulous interview with @entirelytookeen – so there is serious cultural content going on (not joking). Do give it a listen (but remember adult diapers. You’re going to need them).
The Doctor Is Out 